oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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