I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
