420 ftw
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
