so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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