if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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