I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
