Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize