this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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