This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Pants are for mortals
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