I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
