yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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