the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
