i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
