paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
MIDGETS
????
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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