it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
