Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
