I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
