she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
