omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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