I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
How's work?
Spinning.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
