that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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