Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
