clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
