Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
