Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
