Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Randomize
