He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
