i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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