i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Duck Duck Cougar?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Randomize
