I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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