I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
