we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
well you can't waste a boner
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
