i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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