so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
