What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
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