dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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