Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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