Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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