You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
