God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
