i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
