your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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