I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
someone get that fucking seahorse.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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