at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize