i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize