Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
