So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
