I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
