You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
now i know why i became what i already was.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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