i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
BRING THE BAGELS
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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