and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
