i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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