That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize