508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
