Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
