can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
