So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
