I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
