I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
