dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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